Three days in the life of...
10 August 2005
I’ve been thinking about this title for the past couple of days now, having thought of it over the weekend as I tried to sort out what I had to do at work this week. I don’t want to sound like a whiner (though Caroline always tells me that I am one - J) but I really have to complain about the work that I’ve been doing at the office.
To be fair and honest to all concerned, I’ll admit that I’ve been lax the past couple of months, especially right after the Lessons Learned Exercise that we conducted last June as the forum for feedback as we implemented the first cycle of our planning, programming and budgeting system in the Department and the resource management system simulation we held a week later. Damn, that was truly hard, especially since there were only two other people helping me – Ate Tess and Major Real.
When our American subject matter experts (SMEs) came back, it felt like my whole world collapsed again. They were expecting great things from me (because I had been assigned, by default, to act as their point of contact for everything) and I didn’t deliver. Because of my laxity, I totally forgot all of my duties and responsibilities to them. And as punishment, I got rebuke from my “best friend”. He didn’t have to bawl me out to make me see my mistakes, unlike before. Instead, he let me realize the gravity of the situation. So I tried to make up for my stupid mistakes by arranging their schedules and coordinating their conferences which had been good (although I don’t know if it was good enough for them), but then, my “best friend” sprung a “trap” on me.
As I was away attending to some of my personal financial concerns (I am chronically short of cash - L), I was given the task of writing a whole chapter of our planning guidance for the year. And it was the important part of the document too, as it highlighted the development priorities of our secretary over the next 6 years! I didn’t have the slightest idea on what to do, but I did know that I’d just be rewriting some of the stuff that had been written in the previous planning guidance, so I did that. However, little did I know that I had to wade into a veritable lake (not yet an ocean but I think that it might get there) of information (mostly figures that until now I still cannot make heads or tails of) that I had only fleeting encounters with during our last planning cycle [I studiously tried to avoid having to do anything with that for the following reasons: 1) I had been away when they were busy crunching those numbers (I was in Australia for 1 ½ months attending a seminar), 2) I wasn’t really that interested in doing it anyway (after all that I’ve been through last year, I wasn’t ready to work on this thing again) and 3) I might be infringing on someone else’s “territory” and “expertise” (because like some Filipinos, I am, as one of our American SMEs said, conflict-averse)]. Not only that, I had also learned that I had only a few days to do everything because of my laxity (and inherent stupidity, but more on that later)! So I gathered all the information that I thought I might need and proceeded to make one of the worst rewrites one could ever do. I had it checked out by our SMEs and when it came back, it was full of “love-notes” and “squiggles”. But he did appease me by saying that it was kind of good, since it was, after all, a first draft and the notes had been helpful in improving the quality of the draft.
I wanted to do some work over the weekend, even to the extent of bringing the office laptop and all of my references home with me last Friday. Unfortunately, I was thwarted once again by the weekend, so I just gave up, resolving to just go to the office early on Monday and try to finish everything there, which I did, by the way, except for some topics that I need to discuss with people from other offices.
Yesterday (Tuesday) was devoted to cleaning up my draft and fixing loose ends on my grammar. I still had to meet with people with another office [I had asked Ate Tess to schedule a meeting with them today (Wednesday)] in order to complete my draft before I formally submit it to our undersecretary on Thursday. But informally, I’m going to submit my as of yet incomplete draft for his first “pass”. I know I’m going to get another “bawl-out” but I’ve learned to take such things in stride. I just want this over and done with. The sooner I get bawled out, the faster I can finish his corrections and finalize my draft for his approval.
11 August 2005
Today is Thursday. I had my draft checked out by our undersecretary yesterday morning, and what he said was that it was a good enough draft, but not because he read it thoroughly. I guess he just scanned it and gave a few comments on it. I don’t have any problems with that and I was pretty thankful that I wasn’t bawled out for submitting another mediocre document. However, he did proceed to lecture me on the things that had been happening since I was away (and he even joked that I may not be able to understand what he’s talking about because I had been away for a long while) which took an agonizing 2 hours. That was two hours that I lost in working on the draft. The discussion was interesting, mind you (many have commented that he should have been a teacher) but since I have a deadline, I badly needed those two hours to input his comments. I felt enervated leaving his office, so I decided to go out and have lunch outside of the office (the famous “lunch-out”). I returned 2 hours later to start working on the draft (I didn’t know that I had to correct many things, especially the languaging of my document), which I didn’t finish within working hours (I went home at around 8 pm).
Right now, I’m waiting for the comments on my draft. I have an exam in my Japanese class later, so I’m also doing a bit of reviewing on the side. I just hope that the corrections can come after I leave for school and that the corrections are minimal because I’ll be coming back later after class to check up on it. I know I’ll lose valuable resting time again but I have to do it. And it seems to me that I’ll be staying here for quite a time later doing revisions, printing it and repackaging it, just like what I did before. Damn, NOTHING has changed…
To be honest, I am getting sick and tired (both literally and figuratively) of doing this work. It is interesting, sure, but I really think that I don’t have the necessary skills nor knowledge to even attempt in doing it. For all my vaunted “intelligence”, I confess that I do not have the slightest idea of what it is that I am supposed to do. I can follow the system somewhat and I can explain in it in my own “special” way (which has the effect of further confusing people) but I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do in the system. I sometimes get vague ideas on what I’m supposed to do, but whenever I’m given work to do, those ideas just go out the window because more often than not, the work that I’m going to do is NOT the work that I’m supposed to do. But I do it anyway because I can do it (and more importantly, the people above me THINK that I can do it).
I could have refused, I know that, but could you really refuse when you’re already right smack in the middle of it? That’s the same as asking the driver of the MRT to stop midway between stations. It can’t be done. Besides, I was already to deep in it to refuse anyway. So I will carry on, just like any good government employee and hopefully, earn my pay…
12 August 2005
I just finished a meeting sometime ago, and now I’m relaxing a bit since it is a Friday. I don’t feel well, and I really don’t want to do any work today so I’m going to bring work home even though I usually can’t work during weekends. I have to try to do something over the weekend; otherwise, I get swamped with work again on Monday. I’ll also try and get some sort of schedule going for work and get myself organized over the weekend so that I can better manage my time and resources. I don’t have a lot of both so planning is truly essential…
I’ve been thinking about this title for the past couple of days now, having thought of it over the weekend as I tried to sort out what I had to do at work this week. I don’t want to sound like a whiner (though Caroline always tells me that I am one - J) but I really have to complain about the work that I’ve been doing at the office.
To be fair and honest to all concerned, I’ll admit that I’ve been lax the past couple of months, especially right after the Lessons Learned Exercise that we conducted last June as the forum for feedback as we implemented the first cycle of our planning, programming and budgeting system in the Department and the resource management system simulation we held a week later. Damn, that was truly hard, especially since there were only two other people helping me – Ate Tess and Major Real.
When our American subject matter experts (SMEs) came back, it felt like my whole world collapsed again. They were expecting great things from me (because I had been assigned, by default, to act as their point of contact for everything) and I didn’t deliver. Because of my laxity, I totally forgot all of my duties and responsibilities to them. And as punishment, I got rebuke from my “best friend”. He didn’t have to bawl me out to make me see my mistakes, unlike before. Instead, he let me realize the gravity of the situation. So I tried to make up for my stupid mistakes by arranging their schedules and coordinating their conferences which had been good (although I don’t know if it was good enough for them), but then, my “best friend” sprung a “trap” on me.
As I was away attending to some of my personal financial concerns (I am chronically short of cash - L), I was given the task of writing a whole chapter of our planning guidance for the year. And it was the important part of the document too, as it highlighted the development priorities of our secretary over the next 6 years! I didn’t have the slightest idea on what to do, but I did know that I’d just be rewriting some of the stuff that had been written in the previous planning guidance, so I did that. However, little did I know that I had to wade into a veritable lake (not yet an ocean but I think that it might get there) of information (mostly figures that until now I still cannot make heads or tails of) that I had only fleeting encounters with during our last planning cycle [I studiously tried to avoid having to do anything with that for the following reasons: 1) I had been away when they were busy crunching those numbers (I was in Australia for 1 ½ months attending a seminar), 2) I wasn’t really that interested in doing it anyway (after all that I’ve been through last year, I wasn’t ready to work on this thing again) and 3) I might be infringing on someone else’s “territory” and “expertise” (because like some Filipinos, I am, as one of our American SMEs said, conflict-averse)]. Not only that, I had also learned that I had only a few days to do everything because of my laxity (and inherent stupidity, but more on that later)! So I gathered all the information that I thought I might need and proceeded to make one of the worst rewrites one could ever do. I had it checked out by our SMEs and when it came back, it was full of “love-notes” and “squiggles”. But he did appease me by saying that it was kind of good, since it was, after all, a first draft and the notes had been helpful in improving the quality of the draft.
I wanted to do some work over the weekend, even to the extent of bringing the office laptop and all of my references home with me last Friday. Unfortunately, I was thwarted once again by the weekend, so I just gave up, resolving to just go to the office early on Monday and try to finish everything there, which I did, by the way, except for some topics that I need to discuss with people from other offices.
Yesterday (Tuesday) was devoted to cleaning up my draft and fixing loose ends on my grammar. I still had to meet with people with another office [I had asked Ate Tess to schedule a meeting with them today (Wednesday)] in order to complete my draft before I formally submit it to our undersecretary on Thursday. But informally, I’m going to submit my as of yet incomplete draft for his first “pass”. I know I’m going to get another “bawl-out” but I’ve learned to take such things in stride. I just want this over and done with. The sooner I get bawled out, the faster I can finish his corrections and finalize my draft for his approval.
11 August 2005
Today is Thursday. I had my draft checked out by our undersecretary yesterday morning, and what he said was that it was a good enough draft, but not because he read it thoroughly. I guess he just scanned it and gave a few comments on it. I don’t have any problems with that and I was pretty thankful that I wasn’t bawled out for submitting another mediocre document. However, he did proceed to lecture me on the things that had been happening since I was away (and he even joked that I may not be able to understand what he’s talking about because I had been away for a long while) which took an agonizing 2 hours. That was two hours that I lost in working on the draft. The discussion was interesting, mind you (many have commented that he should have been a teacher) but since I have a deadline, I badly needed those two hours to input his comments. I felt enervated leaving his office, so I decided to go out and have lunch outside of the office (the famous “lunch-out”). I returned 2 hours later to start working on the draft (I didn’t know that I had to correct many things, especially the languaging of my document), which I didn’t finish within working hours (I went home at around 8 pm).
Right now, I’m waiting for the comments on my draft. I have an exam in my Japanese class later, so I’m also doing a bit of reviewing on the side. I just hope that the corrections can come after I leave for school and that the corrections are minimal because I’ll be coming back later after class to check up on it. I know I’ll lose valuable resting time again but I have to do it. And it seems to me that I’ll be staying here for quite a time later doing revisions, printing it and repackaging it, just like what I did before. Damn, NOTHING has changed…
To be honest, I am getting sick and tired (both literally and figuratively) of doing this work. It is interesting, sure, but I really think that I don’t have the necessary skills nor knowledge to even attempt in doing it. For all my vaunted “intelligence”, I confess that I do not have the slightest idea of what it is that I am supposed to do. I can follow the system somewhat and I can explain in it in my own “special” way (which has the effect of further confusing people) but I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do in the system. I sometimes get vague ideas on what I’m supposed to do, but whenever I’m given work to do, those ideas just go out the window because more often than not, the work that I’m going to do is NOT the work that I’m supposed to do. But I do it anyway because I can do it (and more importantly, the people above me THINK that I can do it).
I could have refused, I know that, but could you really refuse when you’re already right smack in the middle of it? That’s the same as asking the driver of the MRT to stop midway between stations. It can’t be done. Besides, I was already to deep in it to refuse anyway. So I will carry on, just like any good government employee and hopefully, earn my pay…
12 August 2005
I just finished a meeting sometime ago, and now I’m relaxing a bit since it is a Friday. I don’t feel well, and I really don’t want to do any work today so I’m going to bring work home even though I usually can’t work during weekends. I have to try to do something over the weekend; otherwise, I get swamped with work again on Monday. I’ll also try and get some sort of schedule going for work and get myself organized over the weekend so that I can better manage my time and resources. I don’t have a lot of both so planning is truly essential…
posted by Marc dela Peña | 3:42 PM
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